For 19 years, my ex-husband did and said horrible things to hurt me. The physical abuse in that marriage came in the form of the two rapes and those two incidents made me hate sex. I mean, I absolutely detested it. I felt the act of sexual intercourse was dirty. I felt dirty. In my book, I will disclose some things I came to learn about that whole wretched sexual experience with him, but just the thought of it all make me want to vomit. Before our divorce was final in April 2013, we had not had sex since December 2011. I didn’t want him to touch me and he knew that. What married couple does that?? It’s not normal for married couples not to have sex. The only good thing that came from sex with him was my son.
The things he did to batter me mentally and emotionally varied from not talking to me to getting a blow job from another woman, but blaming me. He has to be one of the stupidest people on this planet.
No Longer Your Target
For years, he took mental and emotional shots at me. He was equally as bad with Will, but his main focus was me. If he could hurt me in any way, his mission was complete. Now that he can’t get to me, he took everything out on Will. That was, until yesterday.
He has always said horrid things to Will then turn around and try to justify it by saying it was because Will didn’t respect him. Once, he got mad at Will and told him that he was going to have another baby so he would have someone to love him like a child should. What was there to respect? I am a very spiritual person and I believe wholeheartedly in the bible. I know that we are to respect our parents. Will tried so hard. The bible also tells us as parents that we are not to provoke our children to wrath. William has done that repeatedly. Yesterday was the last day that will have happened.
Will needed his dad’s help yesterday. He needed it desperately. Will called him in despair and his response was, “I’ll let you know Saturday.” My baby needed help immediately, but once again, it all boiled down to control for his dad. When he called to tell me about the conversation, I could hear the pain in his voice. I could hear his spirit deflating. He eventually texted me and said, “This stuff hurts, Mom. I’m really done.”
When he finally made it home, he looked defeated. He looked like a small child who had lost all his friends. The reality, though, is he’s finally had enough of the man who is supposed to be there for him before everyone else. My child was destroyed.
That man has a total of four children. His hasn’t spoken with his daughter, who is 25, in years. His 26-year-old son will go months (many months) without answering his calls. He has a new child who is less than a year old, but will likely fall victim to his hate just like his other kids. My son was his only adult child who talked to him. I believe that’s a thing of the past now. Just like he did to me, he finally succeeded in killing my son mentally and emotionally yesterday.
I don’t know how long it’s going to take my child to recoup. I don’t know if he will need counseling again. I do know that he has finally come to terms with the fact that his dad sucks as a human being.
A few days ago, he had an extremely heated argument with his father and said to him, “You left me and mom out in the cold.” His father then said, “I tried to get back with your mom in November of 2014…” to which Will responded, “Why would she want to get back with somebody who caused her to have an aneurysm?” His dad didn’t reply.
As parents, it’s our job to raise courteous yet strong individuals. I did that with my son. I just hate that he has to experience the worst in society through his own father.