“A man can’t do no mo’ to you than you let him.” Mama said that to me more times that I can remember and I knew she was telling the truth. I’ve “repackaged” that little bit of knowledge in order to pass it on to my son because I want him to understand that no one in this world can mistreat him unless he allows it. Read on before you jump to any conclusions.
Everyone in the universe knows that I was subjected to severe mental and emotional domestic abuse, with some physical violence during the 19 years I was married. As in almost all cases of abuse, outsiders wonder why I didn’t just leave. There were many times when I, myself, wondered why I just didn’t get up and go. Well, as I’ve said time and time again, I was like a captured bird who didn’t realize the door to the cage was not only unlocked but was standing wide open. I just didn’t have the courage or confidence to walk through it. My ex-husband was living in my psyche rent-free. He was not contributing anything to that space except pain, heartache, and chaos.
I had discounted my own value to a price far below its true worth. I cared so little for myself. All the relentless abuse had beaten me down to the point that I couldn’t see that I was still the owner of a good heart. I couldn’t see the fact that I was the owner of an amazing brain that functioned in an exceptional manner. I couldn’t see that I had a great personality, and despite the fact that he told me otherwise, my attitude was just fine. Looking back, I allowed myself to be placed on the discount rack by someone who was manipulative enough to do just that. The time came, though, when I realized that I didn’t belong and that I would never allow anyone else to mistreat, misuse, neglect, or reject my love.
You owe it to no one on this planet to discount your self-worth. You are not to allow anyone on this planet to live rent-free in your psyche. Guard yourself with the greatest of protection. Shield yourself from anyone who won’t love you unconditionally.