Everyone’s time to say goodbye to people, things, and relationships is different. Some people stay in situations and relationships that others swear they would have left much, much sooner. Some leave far sooner than others could ever imagine. We’re all different. Our differences are the things that make this world so glorious, but there are times when a person needs to go, period!
I think it goes without mentioning that if you’re involved in a relationship where there is abuse — any type of abuse — you need to start stepping. Things will not get better; I am a living testament to that fact. Many people have asked me why I didn’t leave earlier and my answer has always been (and always will be) that I was freed at the exact moment that I was supposed to be released. Had I left a minute sooner, I wouldn’t have the story to tell, I wouldn’t be a survivor, and I wouldn’t be able to help other women.
Anyway, here are some suggestions for what I feel are excellent times to exit.
Chucking the Dueces at a Dead Relationship
- If you have to wonder where you stand with him or her, GO! It makes no sense to be with someone who has you constantly wondering about your place in his or her life. If he or she only wants friendship, that should be understood. If he or she wants an exclusive, committed relationship, that should be understood.
- If that dude or chick is on that “I don’t know what I want” kick, you are under no obligation to stay around and wait for them to make a decision. You’re not a car; you’re not a house. You’re a wonderfully made human being who deserves to be with someone who knows what and/or who they want.
- If you’re with someone who runs cold one day then hot the next, it’s time to find the door to relationship, turn that knob, and GO! No one has time for wishy-washy crap. Who wants to wake up every day wondering if their sig-other is going to be loving and kind, or hateful and overly dramatic?
- This one should be common sense, but I’ll write it out anyway: If you are nothing but a booty call to him or her, GO!! Well, if that’s your thing and you enjoy it, keep things that way, but don’t expect a person who has done nothing but sleep with you whenever he or she wants to without any commitment to have a miraculous change of heart. You can either put a lock on your door thereby putting a lock on your stuff or again, you can let things continue the way they are going. It’s your choice.
I’m not just talking about significant other type relationships. I’ve seen so many people go to dead-end jobs or jobs they hate in general for an eternity.
After nearly 10 years in the claims field, in late 2003, I had had enough. I had been a Workers’ Compensation Claims Adjuster and a Sr. Personal Injury Claims Representative. The last claim that crossed my desk was one where a man had been killed by an asphalt roller. It was bad. It was really, really bad. I had to view pictures of the accident scene and although I had seen much worse before, for whatever reason, I couldn’t stomach the ones from that scene. I decided that was the last claim I would adjust. I called my then-husband and told him that I was done. I told him that I was going to quit the insurance industry and become a paralegal. That’s what I did.
I had no problem getting work because I had been across the table from nearly every plaintiff attorney in the state of Colorado by that time and they needed my insurance expertise in order to win cases against the insurance carrier. There’s not like insider knowledge, huh? After a while though, through mutual agreement, William and I decided that I would stay home with Will. Even though I was a SAHM, I ran a successful home business and continue to do so today. I enjoy the freedom of entrepreneurship.
Don’t stay anywhere that you’re not at least okay with. Our time here is so limited. Work hours comprise the large majority of our day. Spend that time doing something you enjoy.
The bottom line is that you deserve all the sweet spots in life possible. Take as many as you can.