Before I got married, I never procrastinated. Never! I was raised by parents who were adamant about getting things done and getting them done both promptly and correctly the first time around. I wasn’t allowed to fiddle around when it came to chores or homework. When I was given instructions, it was understood that the task was to be done immediately. When it came to homework, there were no TV breaks.
That home training was rooted in my mind so firmly that I didn’t stray from it until after I had been married for years and became entangled in the whirlwinds of trying to do everything perfectly and in record time. Of course, there was never any satisfaction on his part, but I was the workhorse who didn’t stop trying for years. It reached a point where I realized that regardless of what I did, there would be something wrong with the end-result in his eyes.
Eventually, projects that I started were landing in the “incomplete” pile because I was scrambling on to the next thing in an effort to do it better and feel good about actually doing something right. I was always flapping in the wind trying to accomplish that next thing that would garner his approval or impress him. That never happened, but what did happen after my awakening was that I realized that now — the current moment — is the tomorrow I kept vowing would be the starting point of the many projects and tasks I had put off.
I would return to my upbringing and get things done. I would wake up and remember that the woman who was once known for her attention to detail, her ability to produce extremely accurate results in whatever she set out to do was buried just beneath a heap of self-doubt. She had lost the desire to do the things she needed to and wouldn’t dare take on new ventures out of fear of failure, so she put off doing much of anything in a timely manner. I decided, one day, that that day was my tomorrow.
I decided that it was not only time to get up, it was time to wake up. There was no way in this world I was going to accomplish the things I wanted to if I didn’t get out and get my life back into an active status. I decided that I would never let anyone call me a failure again. I also decided that if I did fail, it would be the result of trying, not because I never gave it a shot.
I decided that I wanted to blog. I’m blogging. I decided that I wanted to write a book. It gets closer and closer to publication with each passing day. I decided to get back into Mary Kay sales and I’m in that thing. My goal is to become an Independent Sales Director by December 31, 2016. I will.
No one can or will ever stop me from pursuing my dreams again. I am diligent in my efforts because putting them off means that they’ll hang out there undone and/or they will fail from lack of attention. Tending to the irons I put in the fire is my business. My dreams will become my reality.