Friendship Fertilizer

FriendsI’m very proud to say I have friendships that go back as far as kindergarten. I come from a very small town in Louisiana but have lived in some of the more populated cities of the country, including Denver and Dallas. I have formed friendships with people (men and women) from both those places that I absolutely treasure. I have developed friendships with people via the internet that I consider “real” even though I’ve never met them in person. Friends are just as important as family in my world.

While I cherish all my friends, the reality is that some, as is to be expected, aren’t as closely held as others. It’s ironic that today’s #NaBloPoMo writing prompt asks how to make a friendship grow because I’ve been dealing with the fact that I have to let go a friendship that I’ve had since 1986. It hasn’t necessarily been a turbulent one; it’s just been one of inequality. There have been far too many times when I’ve questioned this woman’s thought-pattern and actions. I don’t think there is room in a true friendship for that sort of thing. I am no saint. I am no holy one. I have flaws, just like the average person, but what you won’t find me doing is kicking any person when he or she is down. I witnessed one of the biggest fails of humanity in this person’s actions a few years ago and I haven’t been able to shake it. I am one of the most non-judgmental people on this planet but right is right. This was not one of those things that you have to wonder about. That wasn’t the first thing that made me wonder about her sense of humanity. It is, though, the one that I haven’t been able to shake loose from.

I believe in supporting my friends in what they do. I may not always agree with him or her, and I’ll let them know of my disagreement (tactfully) but I’m going to square my shoulders with him or her and support their goals and dreams.

I believe in answering the phone when my friends call – all the time. Right now, I’m in a long-distance relationship and while I don’t see my man every weekend, nothing will keep me from answering a call or text from one of my girlfriends, even when I’m able to spend that time with him. Most likely, my girls will know that I’m with him so I know they won’t be calling unless it is important. We’re not in middle or high school – he would never expect me to ignore my friends at any time. I think it’s understood that they know I’m with him, so they wouldn’t be calling just to shoot the poo. I don’t believe in answering a text hours after a friend writes, regardless of what I’m doing. I’ll shoot a quick response back even if its just to say I’m busy.

I believe in being there, even if we do nothing but sit in total silence and let the tears flow. I know my presence is all that needed – not necessarily any words.

I believe in being totally honest with my friends and I demand the same from them. I don’t need anyone telling me what I want to hear – tell me what I need to hear. Lay it down for me in the most honest fashion possible. I’ll do the same.

I believe a friendship should consist of two individuals who inspire each other to do better. Period. I have HUGE goals and dreams. I intend to reach and achieve everything I’ve set into motion. I want friends who are also motivated to move forward and want more than to have someone take care of her. That’s sad to me. I’m cool with being my own biggest cheerleader, and I expect her to have her own set of pom-poms but she has to want something greater for herself. I’m not about sloth. That runs me crazy.

Different friendships need different things but they all stand on the basics. Be a good friend in order to have a good friend.

Women's LivesNaBloPoMo April 2015

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