That Time of Year

I’m participating in April’s NaBloPoMo on BlogHer and today’s prompt was, “Tell us about your best home-grown April Fools prank.” I’m not going to disclose that one here on my blog because it will be included in my book, but I will say that while it was highly successful, it was pretty cruel. Even when I was about to pull it on my ex-husband, I knew it was mean-spirited, but at the same time, I didn’t think he cared enough to actually…care. It brought him to tears but as I’ve said many, many times before, I had built up a wall as high as the sky so I wasn’t really affected by his tears. Now that I think about it, I knew all along that it would not be funny. I don’t know that I really thought about it hurting him but I knew it wouldn’t be funny. I’ll discuss it all later.

In four days, it will be exactly two years since my divorce became official under Texas law. I chose not to go to court on March 5th because I had already drafted my own terms for the divorce and had submitted them to William and his attorney. I didn’t retain an attorney for representation – never even considered it. I’m a Litigation Paralegal so there was no need. Besides, I knew I would need the money I would have spent for the move. I knew what I wanted. I knew what was fair. I knew what would be granted. I got everything I asked for.

It’s taken me this long to be able to look back on that period in my life and not get angry. When I tell you I was all over the place emotionally, trust that. My son’s prom and graduation were fast approaching. I was standing in for his father in that I took him to get fitted for his tux, made sure he was groomed and had the “prom night” talk with him.  We were dealing with Mia’s mother and I was preparing for Will to go off to college. Good things, bad things. There were good days, then there were days when waking up hurt. I had started packing up by this time because although I didn’t know yet that I was moving back to Louisiana, I knew I would be vacating that house located on Carnegie Court in Allen, TX.

Since August 2013, I’ve moved from Allen, TX to Sarepta, LA to Cotton Valley, LA to Springhill, LA. Just typing that makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. I have never liked moving. My parents brought me to the house I grew up in and that house remained my permanent residence until I graduated college in December 1988 and moved to KCMO. I guess that deep-rooted hatred of moving comes from my mother because they had to shut the phone off in that house before she would leave to move into her new (built-from-the-ground-up) home in 1990. Stability means everything to me and that is something that I’ve always insisted on where my son is concerned. That is part of the reason I refused to move before he graduated. For all my efforts, though, he still told me that he basically felt like we didn’t have a home until I landed in that house in Cotton Valley. I tried.

He came home for Spring Break last week and told me that this is the first time since the divorce that he’s felt we actually have a home. I agree with him. He understands though that this won’t be our “forever” home. I love this house but I have so many great, great things planned. I’m working hard on obtaining my teaching certificate and two advance degrees in Education. Once I get that certificate, I’m moving. I’m staying in Louisiana, though. For the longest time, I was indecisive about staying here, near my immediate family or moving back to the Dallas area. I had that talk with my man who has turned my love life completely around and we’ve decided to stay in Louisiana. We need and most importantly WANT to be near our families. We grew up 20 minutes from each other so when I tell you all of this is working out in the most amazing way, it’s true.

Finally, this time of year brings me joy. It hadn’t for many, many years. Things have fallen into place. My heart is finally cherished by a man who has my best interest at heart. My son is in his own zone – he’s carrying a 4.0, stays in the gym preparing for football season and is no longer losing sleep over his mother. Life is about as good as it can be for me right now. It’s about to get 100 times better.

Women's LivesNaBloPoMo April 2015

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