My Michael Brown. My Trayvon Martin. My Son.

17wwvcry020hhjpgLast night, I had to drive to Shreveport to meet my sister but I had been anxiously awaiting the public reading of the verdict. It takes me close to an hour to make that drive and since I couldn’t check Twitter and Facebook, I thought I’d listen to the local radio stations for word. Before I could hear it on the radio, I got a phone call from my 19 year-old son.

When I saw that it was him calling, I felt a stab in my spirit. When he said, “Mom…”, my my heart nearly stopped. I don’t have to see my child to know when his heart is hurting. I knew right away that he was in the throes of a misery that I wouldn’t be able to talk away.

After he told me that Darren Wilson would face no charges, we were both silent for several seconds. There was nothing that I could say. As a mother, my heart bled for Michael’s mother, Lesley McSpadden when he was killed. The picture of his father at Michael’s burial haunts me. I cannot imagine the anguish that accompanies the death of a child. I was devastated when my child had two ACL surgeries and couldn’t take away his pain. I know that there cannot possibly be any pain as reeling as the death of your child. It is something I hope I never have to experience.

The pictures of Trayvon Martin’s mother, Sybrina Fulton, shake me. She attended Grambling State University, my alumni, but the most important thing we have is common is the fact that we parent Black males. Her boy is gone. I have no choice but to fear that mine could meet the same fate as her’s, Lesley’s and countless other Black mothers.

Before I go any farther, it needs to be understood that I have read the transcript back and forth. I am also a Paralegal so I know the law. I have friends from every race, creed and color. I have seen police brutality rear it’s ugly head in every one of those races. While it can happen across the board, anyone who is honest and truthful will note that it is most prevalent in the Black community. Black men are moving targets. That is the truth.

I’ve heard the argument that some of them place themselves in the line of fire, and I have enough sense to know that it does indeed happen that way sometimes. With everything that was revealed in Michael Brown’s case, it is clear that something happened before that child ended up on the ground with bullet wounds all over his body.  Wilson fired 12 shots. I know cops and nearly all of them have said at one time or another that they are taught to shoot to kill. It wouldn’t have taken 12 shots to kill Mike. The fact that so many rounds were released clearly shows Wilson’s intent. Another blogger stated that his testimony began to get shady when he said that Michael turned and ran. He called for back up and says he was afraid, but he chased him anyway. Why?

From the beginning of this country’s history, Black men have been at risk. Google “hanging” and I promise you, you’ll see a sickening image of a Black man dangling from a tree. They have always been targets. They are even more so now. They are not just targets of overzealous cops, who name fear as their reason for killing, but they are also targets in our own community. Black-on-Black crime is absurdly high and is the absolute most stupid thing I can think of. They are feared because of their color. They are despised because of their color. They are hated because of their color. Here’s the thing that’s overlooked: THEY ARE LOVED BY THEIR PARENTS! They are not animals, They are not subhuman. They are our children. Don’t judge them because of their color. They are our babies.

NaBloPoMo November 2014

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