Yeah, They Do Hurt

aware-helpline-verbal2

I talk. I talk a lot. That quality served me well as a Claims Adjuster and as a Paralegal. Whether I had to use that thing to get information or to give it, I could work it. You’ll never find me running my mouth on something I’m not well-versed on because I like to be able to back up whatever I’m saying. Mine is not to “convince” anyone of anything per se but I will get my point across.

I’m now going to use my voice to speak out against domestic violence. There are plenty of people who have plenty to say about the subject and it makes my heart dance that more women are coming forward and out of that hell. Still, though, there are many who are afraid to speak because they don’t want the embarrassment. They don’t want the shame. Even more of them are afraid for their lives. There are some who don’t even realize (yet) that they are being abused because it isn’t of a physical nature. As was my case, the abuse is verbal and mental/emotional.

Some women carry that weight for years. I did. As much as I went rounds with him verbally, eventually, he pulled ahead and mentally, he knocked me to my knees. Before the end, the mental and emotional abuse turned physical in the form of a brain hemorrhage. Too much stress. The rope finally snapped. I shutter to think of the women who are experiencing what I did. That old “sticks and stones” adage is the biggest bunch of poo I’ve ever heard. Words can crush you. They can destroy you. They can, at some point, kill you because when you stop caring about yourself, your health becomes extremely vulnerable.

I didn’t know what my purpose was before I had that hemorrhage. I knew that I wanted to help other women which is why I’m a part of Mary Kay but I didn’t know it would all tie together so nicely. I believe that God allows us to cross paths with people we can help and those who can help us. I am depending on that fact. I tell people all the time that my job is not about the lipstick and eyeliner. It’s about empowering women. It’s about her taking her life into her own hands.plant-growing-through-crack-in-concrete

 
I refuse to look away. I am a part of the solution. My test of 19 years is over. I survived. All those tears, all the times I felt my heart breaking, all the times I just didn’t feel that I could go on, have resulted in my testimony. I was left here to help. I will leave here doing just that.

NaBloPoMo November 2014

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