Plans Derailed

My nest is empty these days. My only child, my son, graduated on June 7, 2013. On June 23, 2013, he checked in at my alma mater, Grambling State University. At that time, I was still living in Allen, Texas and was facing what would become the one of the hardest summers of my adult life. verbal_abuse_by_emobunny07-d3bnq4v

I knew the empty nest phase was coming – it was to be expected and I had plans for the months and years after he graduated. The man who is now my ex-husband and I had plans to travel, to get a smaller house in Texas, to get homes in Louisiana and in Maryland. I had plans to return to corporate America. To date, the only part of those plans that have come to fruition is my getting a house in Louisiana. What derailed all those plans? Divorce.

I had been married for 19 years. They were contentious to say the least. Domestic abuse has been in the news A LOT lately but the problem has been around since the beginning of time. Just as recently as yesterday, I had someone ask how I let the abuse happen. There was never any physical abuse, per se, but the emotional/mental abuse was astounding. My faith runs as deep as any ocean so my most immediate response to that question has always been and will always be that I was there until it was time for me to go. That probably doesn’t make sense to a lot of people, because by all accounts, I am the woman who seems to have it all together. What I tell people is that my complete story will serve as a bridge to the women who are still in the throes of a bad relationship/marriage. I am living proof that there is life after the worst. I am living proof that nothing can hold you down unless you ALLOW it to hold you down. It is perfectly fine to mourn those losses that aren’t necessary a physical death, but you have to know that the day will come when you have to push on through the tears and pain.

I was happy to commit to NaBloPoMo because its time to tell my story. There’s no way I will be able to tell the whole thing over 30 days because mine is about more than a bad marriage. It goes back to a childhood in the south and family issues that scar you for life. This is not about airing my dirty laundry. It’s about being transparent enough that I may serve as an inspiration for a woman to move forward and move on. I’m working on a book. I’m not writing one page of it in an effort to become a best-selling author. If it helps only one woman, my purpose will have been fulfilled. It’s all about being a bridge for me.

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