The Next Forty (or so)

When I was in the hospital, I prayed without ceasing. Even though I was completely loaded with every type of narcotic imaginable, I never stopped praying to God for a full recovery. I’m there now. I have my bad days, just like everybody else, but I’m just as well as anybody else. 

One of the things I promised God was that I would live my next forty years totally different than I did the first forty. Many things have changed for the better but I haven’t tapped into that “fun” stuff. That changes NOW! I’ve spent nearly a week with my mom and my extended family, but the time has come for me to go home. I miss my son so much that my heart aches. I’m missing out on many good times with him. We are so close but we haven’t even began to live the good life.

My first mission is to find a job. I’ve been out of work for a few years now, but I know I can get back in there and hit the ground running. I’ve even put together a pretty tight budget, but I’m leaving a very fair amount for fun. He’s 15 and has never been on a real vacation. I’m 43 and sadly, it’s the same for me. Even if it means a simple trip to Galveston, San Antonio or somewhere else fairly close, we’re going. He will be gone away to college soon and I will no longer have these weekends with him.

I do plan to have some fun by myself and with my girlfriends. I haven’t had a real happy hour with friends since I left Denver. That is so incredibly sad. It’s so sad. I’m going to live my life and surround myself with people who love me and think I’m cool! My birthdays are going to be events – I refuse to wait for “milestones” to celebrate. After a near-fatal brain hemorrhage, all my birthdays are milestones. I’m sure there will be a ton of people who will want to help me ring in a new year and I’ll be right there for them!!

I will become more involved in my church. My relationship with God is my most prized one. I love my son with all my heart but my first love is Christ. I will become a member of the choir and hopefully, one day have the privilege of being a part of the worship team. I want to be involved in the women’s ministry because is anyone has a testimony, its me. I want to be a vessel for Him.

I will embrace every little gray hair and the little creases that are setting in. I look forward to laugh lines because they will show just how much I’ve smiled!!

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